Conversations with God
This morning, I sat down and journaled and got incredibly honest with God. I let myself share those dark and unflattering secrets that so often plague my heart and mind. As many of you know, I am an avid journaler. I take to my journal anytime the world seems to crash around me, whenever something incredibly joyous happens, and all the moments in between. My journaling lately has been a bit sporadic and a lot like pulling teeth.
I have a lot of questions and thoughts swirling around in my head at the moment and I find it hard to sit down and write it all out--especially since some of those thoughts are not too pretty. We are called into relationship with God and that means I am called to be honest to God. I am asked to not bury the dark secrets but to bring them into full view so that God and I can work on them together, so that the thoughts no longer have the power they did before. I wish it could be a one and done type deal--but honesty doesn't work that way, it is a lifestyle choice. I have to make the decision every day to be honest with myself and with God.
Relationships are living breathing things because they are made up with living breathing beings. My relationship with God is a living breathing thing that requires nurturing. I nurture it each time I choose to be honest, every time I choose to engage in conversation, every time I choose to show up as my authentic self. I wonder how our relationships with God might change if instead of being afraid of how God might react to our brutal honesty we trusted that God already knew and is just so happy that we finally chose to be honest.
Honesty is weaving itself throughout everything that I do. It is finding its way into all the areas of my life and transforming my relationships. It seems a small thing to do, but honesty is one of the healthiest and most whole things we can do for ourselves and our relationships. Conversations with God are saving me, they are keeping me afloat in a world that is so difficult to live in. I keep looking around me for glimmers of the Divine and if I look carefully I catch a glimpse.
I hope wherever you find yourself that you might be bold enough to enter into an honest conversation with the Divine and let it heal you, sustain you, and maybe even save you.
Peace, my friends. Peace and so much love.