Peace and Quiet

I am sitting outside on the balcony; the annoying roar of a leaf blower steadily blows across the street, the whack of a weed eater is consistently going as its guide cleans up hedges, and beneath me there is the dull rumble of cars whizzing past. In other words, it is loudand in some ways, slightly chaotic. I found myself nearly yelling above the noise so that my grandmother might be able to hear me during our phone conversation. I could simply go inside, shut the door, and muffle the noise but it would be sinful to waste this pleasant morning air inside. 

Instead, I have resigned myself to working outside even in the midst of the noise with the hope that it will soon grow quieter and a bit more peaceful. Isn’t that what we do within our noisy and chaotic lives? We brace ourselves for the next chaotic and noisy impact all the while praying and hoping that peace will come. 

I am tired of the noise and the chaos, much of it I craft for myself. It feels as if I am constantly spinning myself round and round, looking for the next thing to worry myself with, seeking out more noise and more chaos. Noise and chaos does not simply come from things like a noisy leaf blower or weed eater, no, noise and chaos arrives on the doorsteps of our lives in a variety pack of packaging. We live in a loud world; a world that is focused on glitter, goal getting, scrolling, and work. 

At present, the deafening noise I am addicted to, is the noise of Instagram. I am addicted to the siren’s call of scrolling. I scroll and I scroll through hundreds of images a day, images that very rarely strike imagination, creativity or even like in my life. Yet, I keep giving into that noisy call, I keep opening the app and scrolling through picture after picture—seeking something I know I will not be able to find. The worst bit of it is, I am bored while I scroll yet I keep scrolling in the hopes that something will strike inspiration or at least a little bit of interest. I keep telling myself it is time to delete the app, but for some reason I just don’t follow through. 

I am certainly not the only one addicted to the noise and chaos and comparison that is the norm for our society. There is a reason social media is so incredibly successful. We live in a “do better, be better, more is better” society. I cannot tell you how many “inspirational quotes” I find splashed across my Pinterest page that urge me to “do more, be better, hustle, and make more money.” Frankly, I find them exhaustingand noisy. I find myself more and more turned off the louder things become. 

The siren’s call to scroll is gaining traction, growing louder and louder and filling all my spare time with a mind numbing search for something. The pictures that cause me pause are the cozy ones of books, tea, coffees, pastries, and journals. They point me to the thing I believe I am searching for. They are beautiful, comforting, cozy and quiet. Yet, I must remind myself they are not reality. Most of them are staged; perfectly laid out with the journal or book tilted at precisely the right angle. Someone has painstakingly crafted a beautiful imitation of cozy. The pictures are lovely, don’t get me wrong, and I believe some of the people who have crafted them are experiencing coziness but all it does for me, the one scrolling, is make me long for some true peace and quiet. 

Perhaps I scroll, simply to stumble upon one of these lovely photos; scrolling through dozens of pictures in the hopes that I will get to one of these cozy ones rather than simply close out of the app, shut down my phone, and live into a true moment of peace and quiet. The fake stuff doesn’t feed my soul and simply leaves me desiring more. 

I am searching for peace and quiet in all the wrong places and I know it. I am being called to settle myself in, to take deep cleansing breathes that reach all the way to my core, to slow down, to quiet the noise, and to stop scrolling. I am being called to live my life right here, right now, as it is. I am being asked to draw nearer to God, to peace, stillness, and quiet. And I am ready to do so. I am ready to step out of the rat race and to step into a path of peace that reaches all the way into my soul. 

I am not sure where the noise is coming from in your life but I hope and pray that you find the peace and the quiet and the calm

Grace and Peace,

Margaret