A Year of Life
Yesterday, I turned 26. It is hard to believe that another year has flown by but it always comes right on time as birthdays tend to do. I have been pondering a theme for the year, something that speaks to what I am working on now and who I want to be in the future. A word or a phrase that can guide the direction I take in the next year.
At first, I thought the word would be joy. Last week I posed a question to my Instagram friends asking what brought them joy. It seemed fitting; I have been living in the negativity realm for far to long. I haven't been seeing the things that bring joy and laughter and light into this world. Instead it has been easier to focus on the bad and to speak ill of others. I have noticed in the past few months that I have fallen into some nasty habits, habits that I don't want to have, and habits that are not good for my life. I want to break those habits by focusing in on the positive, allowing the joys to outweigh the negativity. So, I thought the word for this year would be joy--it made sense. However, a few days for my birthday, I felt another word laid upon my heart and mind--life.
Life. It seems to be a strange word but as I thought about it I realized that what I have been doing lately has not been life-giving. It has been worrying, stressing, rushing and allowing the negativity to win. I don't want this to be the norm, I don't want this to keep winning. I want a life where my innermost parts don't feel so disjointed and I am a whole lot kinder to myself. I want a life filled with abundance of laughter, joy, and love not worries. The worries have been consuming me lately, so much so that I have been unable to properly focus on living. So, I want to take a breath and get back to where I need to be. I want to simplify.
I am currently sitting outside on Will's porch. I am looking out onto the water, watching boats pass by, birds take their time as they fly overhead, and the guy across the street methodically cutting the grass at the baseball field. As I witness these things I am reminded that I need to slow down my life. Sometimes the wheels just get moving and they don't want to stop--so I feel like I have to keep spinning and spinning, constantly worrying about something. But I am continually reminded of how exhausting this way of life is. I don't believe we are designed to constantly be running round and round. At least, I hope I am not meant to be doing that. I want a life that is slowed down enough so that things feel manageable. I want to actually taste my food, live in the moment, relax, and be present with loved ones.
This past weekend, I was in one of my best friend's weddings. And as I stood by her side, I was overwhelmed with presence. I was there, living in the moment, celebrating love and lives joining together. Isn't it a shame when we are invited into sacred spaces and we miss the moment because we are too busy worrying about other things--things that matter less than the moment we are in right now? If I had let my nasty habit of worrying take control, I would have missed it. I would have missed the sacredness of the moment, I would have missed the vows being spoken, the songs that we sang, the kiss, and the introduction of the new couple--but thank goodness, I didn't.
I keep asking myself, "What might happen if you just allowed yourself to be, to be present to the moment?" I know I would find that thing I am looking for, that thing called life.
Friends, I hope that you become present to the moment. I hope you allow yourself to simply be, be in this life, be in this moment, to relax your grip on the wheel just a little bit, let life happen and more importantly let yourself live this life.
Peace, joy, blessings, and so much love,
Margaret