The Whirlwind of Life Lately

I always have turned to writing to help me process. Especially as I have processed big life moments, good things, bad things, and things I never quite could understand or wrap my head around. So here I am, back with a little more time, head, and heart space to ramble about all that has occurred in the last month. Writing it out here has allowed me to realize just how overwhelming it has all been. It has reminded me to extend myself grace, to let myself stay in my pjs as long as I want, to sleep in late, to do a little bit of nothing because I have done a whole lot of somethings. So, if you feel so inclined have a read of all that has happened in our household over the past month.

I have a few poems that I am hoping to post this week! My muse has been awakened, most likely stirred awake to help me process and keep me present to the gift that is life—even when it is full to the brim with many intense things!

Above is a photo collage of so many iconic and life changing moments that have occurred over the past month. I don’t have the energy to organize them in chronological order—so just enjoy them chaotically because thats how it has felt over here recently!

It has been a whirlwind of feelings, emotions, celebrations, grief processing, and now gentle exploration into the next stage of life. The connecting thread through all these photos is the gift of love—so much love, so many people that we love, the gift of giving and receiving love and showing up to the grief even when it hurts.

So let me offer a little recap (I do have two poems that will be posted sometime this week, processing how we end things well and the discomfort that comes with lots of change, lack of familiar routines, and 12AM thoughts). Now here is an overview of all that has occurred for us in the last month.

Will graduated from residency, then promptly worked two more weeks at MUSC. A momentous occasion celebrated with parties, cake, bubbles, deep sighs of release, and a giggle about having to work a few more weeks.

I ended my call to Roper St. Francis—an emotional and tender goodbye, filled with gratitude, celebration, love, tea parties, a heck of a lot of cake, and one final prayer at the deathbed of a beloved person.

We traveled with family to the new place we are going to live, Roanoke, Virginia. We spent our time pretending it was vacation for the two of us. In all actuality it was a search for housing, trying to figure out what is next for us. It was a trip full of emotions for Will and me—tainted with stress, time by the pool, a little bit of reading, a much needed trip to Barnes and Noble for a moment to breathe, a tearful return flight to Charleston, a memories made with parents.

In a flurry of activity we returned to Charleston to clean out our apartment—to prepare for movers and to uproot our lives. Bags full of things were blessed and released with grateful hearts, we reminisced, we hoped, we felt a lot of stress, we realized we need to monitor our consumption. We prepared to say goodbye to our loved ones, to a season that has been so sweet and so bitter but so lovely.

Dinner with friends, holding a squishy squiggly baby, tears cried in the car as we drive away.

Then it came, the last view from our apartment, the goodbye dinner, the celebration cake, the tears, the last night in the apartment that has been home for five years. The Kickin Chicken points are finally used to celebrate years of dinners where they were saved, years of life that have been beautifully lived. The last night was one of deep emotion, snacks brought in a South Carolina bag to take a little piece of home with us to Virginia, a celebration cake to both ease the edge of grief and to celebrate this amazing shift in our life.

Wednesday a week ago arrived with waves of tears, hearts aching for what we were leaving clinging to the hope of all that is to come. A day full of love, grief, hope, and fighting tooth and nail for bravery to come through. A seven hour drive followed that had us stop at the infamous Buc-ee’s for a moment of reprieve (we brought pubsubs for ourself and only got some beaver nuggets, that I can confirm are litty). Then back on the road again, arriving exhausted, dehydrated, and very cranky.

Our first night of sleep in the hotel was intterupted by a fire alarm. Fortunately, everything was fine. Will and I found ourselves gathered outside with strangers all around—text messages were sent to family and surprisingly, at midnight, we had immediate responses.

The first few days were filled with relief that the goodbye had happened, that we had done the thing we had been anticipating for months. We frequented a fantastic coffee shop, The Green Hive, with the best smoothies. Will studied, I journaled, I read a book in an effort to interrupt my endless scrolling. We took our first Virginia hike.

Will took his final written board exam (thank God!).

We had snacks with friends.

We cooked Korean BBQ at a new to us restaurant—over here getting out of comfort zones!

Our entire apartment and then some were delivered and stored away in three (yes three) storage units, we returned to the Barnes and Noble (obviously its my comfort zone lol), we grocery shopped for the first time in what feels like too long. We made our way to our temporary home. We discovered it does in fact have a washer and dryer!

I unpacked the four mugs that I brought, plugged in my own kettle, and let myself try to unwind. It has been a few days since we arrived and I can tell the last few weeks have taken their toll on both of us.

So we have slept late, worn our PJs into late in the day, bought a new cookbook, grocery shopped, and cooked a meal we have never tried. We have tentatively processed our feelings around this massive change in our life. We have encouraged one another and made countless Facetime calls.

Life and all her mess and glory is this precious gift. We are trying desperately to remain present to all it has to offer. We are letting ourselves cry when we need to cry, share our thoughts so we can get to the heart of what we are feeling, rest and allow that to take shape in a diversity of ways, show up to the best of our abilities and let that be enough.

Thank you for letting me process, share my art. Wherever this finds you—I pray we might all experience the Peace that surpasses all our understandings.

Grace, Peace, Blessings, and Love,

Margaret