32
For some reason, I keep wanting to write “34” but then I remember I am just now only 32. Maybe this is a sign of growth in myself, an acceptance of the beautiful gift that is growing older. When I was about to turn 30, I had a 25 year old tell me I was “so much older” than them and congratulate me on choosing to mark the momentous occasion with a garden party. It was then that I remembered what it was like to be 25; to have what I call a “quarter life crisis” and to fear the process of growing older. But after years of work in a hospital, watching as the great equalizer of us all, Death, arrived—often times when people are least prepared, or it comes too soon, or too suddenly; I realized that each day I am blessed with is a gift. That this precious life with all the wonder and magic, tragedy and difficulty is a holy gift—set apart and marked by the Divine as something sacred. It is meant to be spent well, celebrated, and lived as thoroughly and present as possible.
So here I am nearly two full weeks into my 32nd year of life. I am counting the moments and marking them by the magic that has occurred in each of them. Whether it is the magic of tea sipped from an ordinary mug on a ship in the ocean with the view of the vastness of the sea zipping by, swimming in the clearest natural water I have ever been in, realizing that beauty exists and we get to live in it, snorkeling and seeing so many bright blue Dory fish finding a way to thrive in a reef that is still beautiful and living despite human interventions that are stripping it of color, or witnessing the sheer delight of flowers in tight bulbs unfurling into fairy tutus, my nephew shyly approaching me to give me a hug unprompted, or witnessing the holiness of having a fragile way of life shatter in your hands—being entrusted with the care of someone in their worst moments it is holy, it is hard, it is beautiful and it is magic.
Ten years ago, I turned 22, and embarked on one of the biggest adventures I could have fathomed—moving abroad to Scotland. I lived in fear that I would never do anything that exciting or big again. Adventures look a million different ways, excitement comes wrapped in a bunch of different packages. I am just grateful that I have chosen to live this life to the fullest in all the different ways, shapes and forms that it takes.
32 is a year that will bring many changes into my life. I am hopeful and excited, encouraged and delighted to see what she has to offer. Below is a compilation of the magical moments that have marked the lead up to my 32 birthday (we went on a cruise to celebrate) and the very beginning of a new year of life. I keep writing in my journal “I am so grateful.”
As one of my all time favorite characters, Donna Sheriden from Mamma Mia 2 says: “Life is short, the world is wide. I want to make some memories!” So here we go, again!
