Hearing and Being Heard

Yesterday was hard. I faced another day, as we all did, with the meanness of the world front and center from the moment we wake up. Some days, I am good at being brave and believing that small acts of kindness and love matter. Yesterday, I didn't feel so brave. I felt like--maybe the kindness and love that I put in the world isn't actually doing anything to help and then I asked myself "what is the point?" Do you sometimes ask yourself this same question?It just feels like we care a lot less about one another--if we care at all. It seems as if we have gotten more consumed with ourselves and hyper individualistic. I heard, yet another heartbreaking thing on the news, and my raw heart broke a little bit more. I sat as tears streamed down my face and asked Will, "I try to be a good person, does it even matter?"At the heart of it, I do believe the little bit of kindness and love we have to give does make the world a better place. Which Will, of course, affirmed. But do you ever feel stuck? Similar to how I felt and even still do, a bit?It is not easy to be a human in the world that we live in and the past year has seemed especially difficult. When did we all decide to turn on one another? As always, I am not saying that I live out my life as best as I can every moment of every single day--but I want to do better, because my fellow siblings in humanity, God's good creation, and this world deserve a little bit of kindness. A huge part of my calling, and I believe most of our callings, is to be present with and hear the stories of people and creation. We are all so guarded, myself included, and I rely heavily on defensiveness because I am so scared I'll be told I am wrong so I jump to tell others they are wrong first.Perhaps we disagree on topics of religion, theology, what the best brand of tea is or how to make a quality cup of tea, or maybe we disagree on politics--maybe even viscerally. I am tired of hearing and participating in conversations where we just get louder and we end up frustrated and relationship fractured over topics that won't get solved in a conversation over dinner, a text message, or social media post. I want to join in relationship, I want to hear the fears, hopes, dreams, and feelings you have and I want my fears, hopes, dreams, and feelings to be heard too. It seems that we are all just wanting to be right--maybe if we heard one another's stories we would be less concerned about being right and more concerned with being compassionate, loving, and treating one another with respect and dignity?I am working on becoming a person who can hear your fears, your why about what you think, feel, fear, hope for, and dream. On some days, I show up as this person, present and fully able to sit with. On other days, I am not this person and will slip quickly into a defensiveness and an attack. We are all human and shame and fear touches us and often times controls us at various points in life's journey; my hope is that we might become people who can hear one another's stories with compassion and vulnerability and rather than jumping straight to the condemnation we respond with curiosity. Perhaps we don't leave the conversation the best of friends or people who ever really want to communicate again, but maybe we can leave with dignity and respect rather than judgment and dislike or even hatred.*I do not encourage people to enter into conversations or situations where they do not feel safe, feel that the conversation would go against their well-being, is abusive, and/or degrading. Your safety and well being matter deeply and we are all worthy of dignity and respect.*This is a post about a hope I have and something I am working on that we might be able to one day have conversations that are respectful of people's dignity and humanity as fellow image bearers of God. This might sound idealistic and in the world we find ourselves in today, it just might be. But I am curious what might this feel like and wonder if you are too?I pray our hearts are moved towards compassion and that when we see a fellow human in pain, fear, expressing their hurts and pains, offering us their hopes and dreams--we move towards them and choose to sit with them. Honoring their story with our own open and vulnerable heart. May we see others as God sees us all, beloved.Grace, Peace, Kindness, and so much Love,Margaret