Waiting

advent--the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event

We live in a world where waiting is taboo. We like instant gratification--I stopped primarily ordering from Amazon when I was no longer guaranteed my delivery in two days, Target's "buy online, pick up in store/drive up" promised that satisfying semi-instant gratification. Yet, life cannot only be instant gratification and things don't just magically and instantly sort themselves out--we often have to wait.

Let's face it, we do not live in a world comfortable with waiting. We rush to Easter Sunday when we are called to sit in the darkness of Good Friday and Holy Saturday. We rush to Christmas and the baby (if we remember) when we are meant to be getting spooked at Halloween. We are tired of waiting for a pandemic to end, so instead of remaining vigilant about the things that keep us safe we rush to "go back to normal." I get it, I don't like waiting either.

Advent is a season in the liturgical year--a season marked with anticipatory waiting, expectant waiting, waiting with hope. I find it to be a refreshing reminder to slow down, to be present, and to allow myself to live life because life happens in the waiting.

My first year of seminary, I planned a worship service for a class and I set it during the season of Advent. I was in the midst of a dark season in my life--I was struggling with depression and waiting, hoping for change. The worship resources and liturgy reminded me that in life we are often called to wait. It is not a passive waiting, but rather an active waiting that requires our whole selves, some discomfort, and a whole lot of hope. Life happens in the waiting.

We want to jump to the healing, to Easter morning with the resurrection, to Christmas with all its twinkly lights, glitter, and presents. We want to fast forward through the waiting, the uncertainty, the discomfort, the mess. The Divine paradox in Advent, in life, is that we wait for that Christmas morning, the Divine movement, we wait to celebrate the birth of a baby that we believe to be Emmanuel, God with us all the while God is already present here and now.

The beauty is that we know the story, we know Christ is born, lives, dies, and is rise. We believe Christ has already come and God is with us here and now and we are invited to relive the story each year, knowing God's presence throughout it all while expectantly hoping and waiting for Christ's return.

Back in April, early into the shutdowns here in the US, I was in my Reformed theology class. It was our final session before Easter and one of my colleagues stated that she wished we would make a joint decision, church universal wise, to not celebrate Easter until we could safely gather together to do so. I heard her, I felt the pain, uncertainty, and grief and I realized that no matter what happens, the Good News cannot be stopped. If we had canceled our Easter celebrations--Christ still would have risen, the tomb would still be emptied because Divine timing cannot and will not be swayed. Instead of canceling and waiting for our old normal we had to choose to live into a new normal--no matter how uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

We wait for test results, we wait for feedback, we wait for the next big holiday or life event or weekend, we wait for the answer to our prayers, we wait for God to do something, we wait for the relationships to be fixed, we wait for the healing to happen, we wait for things to be tied up with a big perfect bow--and still in the midst of the waiting God is with us. Advent reminds me that waiting is a necessary and major part of life. It reminds me to release my need for control, to trust Divine timing, and to surrender to the rhythms of life.

And so, I along with you all, wait. I choose to not jump to the next part of the story I know so well. I choose instead to follow along in the story, to light a candle each week rather than the whole wreath all at once (in my tradition, during Advent we light an Advent wreath with a candle representing something different each week. Today's was hope.) and allow my heart to wait with expectant hope--a baby is coming who will be God with us as I firmly know and trust God is already with us. I wait with bated breath for the God who brings order out of chaos to move and to act all the while knowing that God is already here and now moving and acting.

Life happens in our waiting--are we willing to live and grow through it?

Peace and Blessings,

Margaret