Surprising Self-Care

I am learning what self-care looks like. When I began this project/journey I had a set list of what I named self-care to be. I planned on putting my feet to the ground (running, walking, hiking, yoga), journaling and writing, reading, resting, cooking, and doing Lectio Divina. Many things I have already implemented in my life and was committing to do a bit more intentionally. However, I crafted this project weeks before COVID-19 fundamentally altered the way we all have been living our day to day lives.

My life has been completely flipped upside down to what it looked like when I so painstakingly laid out my self-care goals/formula. The self-care practices I committed to still happen, just not as frequently as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I had to take a bit of a break from running to give my shins some time to rest but I have managed to still get outside and to get feet on the ground through at-home yoga and walks. I am still cooking, although I haven't been able to really explore and venture out in my recipes. I am journaling but haven't had much time for pleasure reading. And instead of Lectio Divina I have been doing two short devotionals alongside my journaling. My self-care practices are still happening, if not as frequently as I would like.

The thing is, life happens, and life changes completely when we least expect it. A week ago, I was still living in my cozy apartment on Columbia's campus, the place I have called home for the last two and a half years. A week later, I am sitting on an apartment porch in the Charleston, SC area--a place I am not getting accustomed to calling home. My life has fundamentally changed in a matter of days.

I have never been great with change. I, like so many, struggle with things changing, especially when they have been one way for so long. Yet, due to unforeseen circumstances, I have had to uproot my life at CTS sooner than anticipated, moved back to Charleston where I finally get to be with Will and my family after three years five hours apart, and learn to navigate learning online and an increase in technological screen time.

All this change has sparked a massive amount of complex and often conflicting feelings to rise up within me. Grief, joy sadness, happiness, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, helplessness, hopefulness and the list goes on. As I was reflecting on my feelings this afternoon and my devotion from this morning--I am realizing that I have some surprising self-care practices that are engrained in my life, yet, I have never claimed them as self-care.

These practices may seem a less like self-care and more like typical household or personal chores, yet, they are what I have been clinging to these past few weeks as uncertainty, fear, anxiety, and change has been swarming and descending upon us.

I realized today, I haven't had my nails painted in a week. This may seem frivolous, yet I have been getting my nails done every few weeks since December and thoroughly enjoying it. I have ventured into the land of SNS nail polish, it is a dip powder that allows the color to last three-four weeks with no chipping. Once I began getting my nails done, I realized it helped with my confidence and sense of being put together. May seem silly, yet, it has become a comfort for me. Since we are social distancing, I cannot get my nails done. So today, as I sat experiencing varying feelings, I realized that I wanted to have my nails done and that is what I did for myself. They are now a lovely shade of light pink with some silver sparkles.

Making my bed is another essential self-care practice. For some reason, my mother was right, it is important to make one's bed. If I have done nothing else, at least my bed is made and ready for me to crawl into that night. It allows me to feel some sense of control in an otherwise out of my control world.

Getting dressed. Many of us are working from home now and it is so tempting for me to just wear lounge clothes all day everyday. Yet, I do better with structure, routine, and stability. Part of that structure, routine, and stability for me is getting up at a reasonable hour, showering, putting my makeup on, fixing my hair, and putting on "real" clothes. Sometimes, I do wear lounge clothes all day and somedays I find myself needing to put on an outfit, one that is both put together and comfortable.

Drinking water. I love Diet Coke, the one in the silver can with the caffeine. A few years ago, I quit drinking regular coke and switched to Diet Coke. To me, nothing beats a nice icy cold DC from the fridge. I have already had two today and when I decided to work outside on the porch, I realized how parched I was--I need water, DC isn't going to cut it.

Getting outside. I have been doing a lot of hard work on pondering what makes me feel most like myself. The image that keeps coming up in my mind is me in the sunshine laughing and smiling. I am not anywhere specific, I am simply outside. I spent a fair amount of time outside when I lived in the UK. I didn't have a car, so my choices for transportation primarily involved my legs, occasionally a bike or bus, and, if desperate, a cab. Since returning to the US I have begun to spend less time outside due to a lack of a designated outdoor space (porch or yard), I have a car and drive a lot more, and my own laziness (my couch is super comfortable). However, being outside is integral in me feeling like myself and furthermore like a human. So, I am being intentional about putting feet to ground (running, walking) and sitting outside on the porch.

I am learning there is no set way of caring for oneself and the things that seem small and perhaps meaningless actually hold a lot of meaning and comfort for me. They are ways that I care for myself and make sure that I am the healthiest I can be.

I hope in this season of life you find ways to care for yourself--ways that might even surprise you.

Peace, Blessings, and Love,

Margaret