Digging In
This past week has been made up of the grueling work of digging in and reconnecting to God and my own heart. I have journaled more than I have in ages; pages of my journal have been filled with my thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams, anxieties, and prayers. I have spent more time in this past week in deep, holy reflection than I have in over a year. It feels like I have taken a journey through an immense amount of spiritual sludge, each step slow and strenuous but so meaningful.I am learning that I am not simply meant to build physical roots but that I need to build deep spiritual roots too. Building spiritual roots is hard work. Just like any ordinary relationship takes time, effort, and engagement whether with a person or a place--a spiritual relationship with God takes time, effort, and continuous engagement. I tend to put quiet time on the end of my todo list; choosing, instead, to just zone out by watching mindless television--avoiding the difficult work of engaging in something deep and meaningful and at times difficult.However, as I have dug in this week and tried to pry my closed off heart open I am feeling the relief that comes from the hard work. It is sort of like going for a run; I have to do the difficult work of motivating myself to put on my running clothes and running shoes, jumping over the hurtle of getting out the house and starting on my path. It is difficult and sometimes the journey is slow and strenuous but it brings relief and it brings a certain peace. Just like with my running, my quiet time requires me to sit down with my journal, pen, a cup of tea, devotional and my Bible; it requires me to jump over the hurtle of fear and dig into something larger than myself. The difficult work is worth it, it brings peace, healing, it changes me and invites me into a story that reaches out much further than myself.I rely on the mindless stuff because when I am exhausted, the mindless doesn't require me to dig deep but the mindless doesn't feed my soul and give me energy. I find that though journaling and praying requires energy it gives me life in a way that simply scrolling through instagram and watching TV cannot. It taps me into a source of strength, love, and courage that I do not possess on my own.In a couple of weeks I am going to be preaching on the Bread of Life, so right now I am trying to bring my hungry soul to the table to be fed and sustained by the Bread of Life and Living Water.John 6:35"Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'"Peace, Joy, Blessings, and Love,Margaret