Being Human

I am not sure if it is just the season of life I am in, or if it is the season I have just come from, or if it is just the Holy Spirit at work--but the theme of humanity is constantly cropping up and revealing itself to me. There are some days that you just come face to face with your humanity and the reality that you cannot get everything done and you cannot do every single thing yourself. I am a control freak, a perfectionist, and a people pleaser; a dangerous combination. I like to be able to do it all, to seem strong, independent, and self-sufficient but in the last season of my life I have come to realize time and time again that this is not realistic nor is it healthy.A few weeks ago  I preached that we are not called to stand alone and be completely self-sufficient, that God created us to be give and receive, to love and allow ourselves to be loved.  This past week I preached on the beauty that is David's broken humanness. I often wonder why I seem to miss the points that God reveals to me time and time again. It is okay to be a broken human--in fact it is the natural side effect of living in the world that we live in. The beauty is that God created us with the need to rely on others, to live in community, to not have to do it all or be it all.I am currently reading Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom For A Better Life by Cleo Wade. A beautiful book filled with little gems of wisdom. I recently read a section about how "Knowing your needs is a superpower." Too often, we put our needs on the back burner and we go, go, go, until it is too late and we are burnt out, exhausted. If I am not careful, I will do this; I will go, go, go, and give, give, give until I have nothing left--until I feel scraped out and raw.  I have learned this lesson the hard way, time and time again, because I refuse to pay close attention to my mind, body, heart, and spirit and I am deathly terrified of letting someone down or allowing them to know I am *gasp* human.I constantly write and talk about how God does not call us to be perfect, God does not call us to be it all, to do it all, to solve it all and yet, here I am constantly striving and struggling to prove myself to everyone around me and to God. I know it is not admirable to try and be perfect--yet, I still try, I still try to not need people, to not admit I need help, to not admit when I am overwhelmed.Wade says, "Our world often tells us that there is something wrong with needing something or someone, or that expressing our needs is somehow a sign of weakness. This is completely untrue. Knowing our needs is a limitless superpower, on that can help us make all the big decisions in life."I am slowly but surely learning that it is not simply okay to ask for help but it is essential. Admitting that I can't do it all and need support and love from my people is not a weakness, it is not wrong, as Wade so beautifully puts it-it is a superpower. I am feeling my heart stretch wider and wider as I allow myself to be vulnerable to those who love me, as I let myself and my needs be expressed, as I give myself permission to simply be human.If I have learned anything from my season of depression it is that a community of people who love you and care for you is necessary. But in order for it to be life giving you have to be willing to admit when you need help, admit when you cannot do it all, and not just admit it but allow those people to help and allow them to love you.Fred Rogers put it perfectly:"Taking care is one way to show your love. Another way is letting people take good care of you when you need it."Just like I preached a few Sundays ago, the more we give of ourselves the more we are able to receive. The tricky thing is--we have to be willing admit we cannot do it all, to accept the help, to let people in, and to receive the love.My hope and prayer is that you allow yourself to be human, to truly be seen, to be vulnerable, to not have it all together--to help others but to allow others to help, love, and tend to you.Peace, Joy, Blessings, All my Love,Margaret