Befriending

We so often believe that attacking what and who we think our enemies are is the only way to take care of business. However, I am learning a lot on my journey to true, grounded self-love. My counselor and I are working on bringing harmony home in myself. She has told me about a groundbreaking method of doing so, learning to love those parts of myself I am so often told to attack.I read inspirational quotes all the time that tell you to aggressively deal with your fear, insecurities, shame, and guilt. These quotes, point me to a method of management that urges me to attack these parts of myself, because they are a part of me. Trust me, I have tried the attacking method. I have been so cruel to myself and these parts of me, trying to bully them into submission, "Just behave. No, you do not get a say. Why won't you just go away?" I have spoken cruelly to them, thus speaking cruelly to myself, and I have tried to erase their existence, thus trying to erase a part of myself.Attacking is not the answer. All I end up doing is being meaner to myself and feeling even worse about myself. Instead, my counselor has suggested befriending these individual feelings that are a part of myself. Rather than attacking, she suggests speaking to them as you would to a friend whom you love dearly. So, that is what I have been doing. I have been taking each thing, fear, insecurity, shame, and guilt and speaking to them individually. I have been getting to know them on their own time and in their own space. And what I have learned is quite groundbreaking.These beautiful parts of myself are indeed beautiful. They are parts of me and I am sure parts of you. I have learned that they want to be engaged; they are tired of always being ready for an attack, they just want to be loved for what they are, and they are who and what they are in an effort to help protect me and better me. These things are not evil and I am learning to embrace them for what they are and loving them as parts of myself.