It Takes Time

I just had my wisdom teeth removed and have realized that healing is not a painless or quick process. If we are throwing around the word "healing" we have to acknowledge a pain, a hurt, or a wound that needs our attention. In this particular case, it was my bottom two wisdom teeth. For months now anytime I would get a headache or was stressed the tension seemed to begin in my neck and rise up, coming to a painful peak at the back of my jaw, just beneath my ears. It took me longer than I care to admit, to realize that the pain I was feeling was coming from my wisdom teeth on the move, pushing hard on my bottom teeth.Tuesday I got those suckers removed and am very excited to have them out of my head! Although, I know true relief will arrive in a few days and I will be reaping the benefit of having the surgery, this anticipated relief comes at a cost. Having your wisdom teeth removed is around a four day recovery, very mild, compared to most surgeries--but there is still pain, pain medicine, an antibiotic, swelling, and blood. In order for me to reap the benefits of the surgery I have had to undergo the necessary healing process.This healing process has required me to lay around on the couch, take my medicine, and eat only soft foods (I really can't complain about the soft foods part: I love ice cream, mashed potatoes, and Kraft Mac and Cheese!). But laying around gets old and when that pain medication wears off, it can be brutal, especially in the middle of the night. You see healing does not come painlessly and it doesn't come quickly; it takes time. In the case of my wisdom teeth, the healing comes fairly quickly and is the form of a physical healing. But in many cases our wounds are often things we cannot see or touch; our wounds can be grief, emotional pain, suffering, depression, heartache, broken relationships, etc. Our hurts, all of them, deserve to be healed.I am in the process of working on healing, in the physical sense, but also the emotional sense. I am allowing myself to admit that I am hurting and letting that admission be the first step in what is going to be a long healing process. A healing process that is going to require me to become unwalled, unguarded, and vulnerable; a process that is going to require me to grieve and let go; a process that is going to make me confront myself, my fears, and my God. There is a reason that I have returned to writing, it is one of my trusted healing practices. This is also going to be a healing process that I am not going to feel guilty or ashamed about and it is not going to be a healing process that I am going to apologize for.I have tried to mask the hurt, tried to cover it up with an illusion of perfection--but I can no longer do this to myself or to my relationship with God and others. Just like my mouth has needed healing from having two (quite large) teeth cut from my head; my heart, soul, mind, and relationship with myself and God need healing. This is something that I am sure many people don't want to hear, but it is something I am relieved to finally be saying.Healing takes time and it is not painless; but I trust the hands that have worked on my mouth, have prepared and bought me soft food, have snuggled with me (it would be puppy paws in this case) and I trust the many hands that are loving me well, helping heal those hurts in hard to reach places, preparing me tea and food, and I trust the hands of my Creator that is working on my fragile heart.I hope that whatever wounds that need healing in your life are being tended to by loving, gentle, and kind hands. And if you need an extra set of hands, know that mine are always available. My hope is that you know you are not alone, that you are so incredibly loved, and your hurts (whatever they may be) deserve to be healed.Peace, Joy, and All my Love,Margaret