Avoiding God

Why is it that sometimes we avoid God? We avoid going into those long emotional conversations with God? We can feel our hearts, emotions, and lives spinning out of control and in my case, inching closer and closer to the rabbit hole. I know what I need to do, what is going to make me feel better--and yet I seem to avoid doing it. Maybe because I know I am going to tap into a lot of emotions and it takes a very long time. But maybe I am also going to discover some things that I don't really want to discover. And if I am being one hundred percent honest, I probably have some doubts that I am ashamed to voice. God's reality is not always easy to face, it is so much better than any of our fantasies, but it is not always an easy path to walk.If I am being completely honest there have been, and I am sure will be many times where I avoid God and the tugs I feel on my heart. I know that it is better for me to sit down write out my thoughts and face the things that God wants me to face--and yet I still seem to avoid God. I am not sure about you, but I think no matter how faithful we are, there are just times that we avoid having those deep conversations with God. We hide ourselves, our doubts and our fears and just hope that they will eventually disappear. I just keep teetering on the edge of the rabbit hole. Despite the dangers of that rabbit hole. I can feel my control and peace slipping away.During these moments I know who I have to turn to and what I have to do. I call it quiet time or Jesus time; I have to be alone in a quiet place and just sit down and write everything out. Like I have mentioned in previous posts, I use the devotional Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It truly is incredible what happens when I'm in these moments, when I can focus on what God wants me to hear. Because when I listen, God speaks to me and truly brings an incredible amount of peace to my heart, and I think that would be the case for a lot of people. Even when it is hard and we don't want to face God's reality sit down and have those conversations with God. Even when we have doubts that we know we shouldn't have. I think being raw and open with God--admitting our fears and doubts, these moments help strengthen our relationship with God. God will forgive us, so don't avoid God for too long. There are plenty of times that I avoid God and hit a point where I am falling down the rabbit hole and it is much harder for me to get out. But if I monitor my feelings and turn to God first, everything goes much smoother.If it is a reality that we don't want to face, but it has been issued to us, we must remember and trust that "God brings all things together for good" (Romans 28:8). My devotionals constantly remind me to fix my eyes on God. When the problems of our world swarm around us and we feel the temptation to jump down the rabbit hole--quit avoiding God, turn towards the one who will always make things right.No matter where we run or hide--God is always with us. There is no place in this world that we can go that God is not there. We can avoid God all we want but God will never avoid us.Psalm 139:7-12"Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you."May the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.