Embodied

When I first began discerning my call I met with Donald; a lovely, very Scottish, chaplain at St. Andrews. (Side note: be very careful mentioning "call" around any religious type person--they get very excited!) An excited Donald asked me to fill out a Church of Scotland discernment packet. The assignment was, I would prayerfully record my answers to some thought provoking questions, ask a close friend to go through my answers with me, then meet with Donald to go through the packet a third time.I worked my way through the packet and I remember writing "dance" in response to a question regarding my potential ministry. As I went through the questions with my trusted friend, she commented, "I think you can come up with something better than dance." At that time, neither one of us had the vocabulary to describe how dance might be a form of worship or ministry. Respecting my friend's comment, I still held on to dance and to the image that popped into my head when I thought about it. Me swaying to some hidden beat, arms raised, head back, eyes closed--worshipping the Divine--dancing.Recently, I have been thinking a lot about bodies; beautiful created beings, beings made up of flesh and blood. I think about my body, the bodies around me, the bodies far from me and constantly ponder embodiment. Last semester I had a professor say, "My husband and I go and drink Turkish coffee on Fridays and work--so my Fridays taste like Turkish coffee." Embodiment. In my case--mornings taste like tea (PG Tips) with a sprinkle of sugar and a splash of milk.As I have journeyed through this season of life I have made an effort to allow myself to be fully embodied. Encourage myself to sit, live, and have my being in my own flesh and blood, my created body, my intricately woven self. (These are affirmations that remind me I was created by God and declared good, most days I don't believe this). As my lovely counselor has put it--"You are coming home to yourself." I am learning what it feels like to truly be embodied in this flesh and blood vessel, to feel my heartbeat, smell the scent of life (sweat), to live into daily life; all while attempting to be as completely present as possible. I am remembering or maybe I am just finally learning what it feels like to be alive. To taste food, to feel laughter bubble up and explode out, to love with everything my heart has to offer, to give myself over to this life and God.Perhaps without even knowing it, my early discerning self was on to something when I wrote down dance. Going through one of my (many) journals I discovered this passage from March 13, 2018:"There is something sacred in this moment--right here, right now. The light is slanting in through the window, the days have finally begun to lengthen and my front room is filled, every afternoon, with warmth from the fading sun. As I begin to cut into my vegetables, the clean, soothing, coolness of the cucumber's scent reaches my nostrils, then the spicy aroma of green onion. Something about this moment, this place tells me I have entered sacred space, don't ruin it by turning on the TV. So instead I play music softly and let myself live into this sacred time and sacred space; knowing all too soon it will fade."This is embodiment for me. I have been hunting for holy and more often than not it meets me in the places I least expect it. The holy, the sacred--it all tends to show up when I have opened up my heart  just a bit and allowed myself to be fully embodied in the space, the moment, and my very own flesh and blood.Embodiment, smells cool like cucumber and spicy like green onion. Thanks be to God.Where do you feel most alive? What does embodiment feel/look/taste like for you?Peace, Joy, Blessings, and Love,Margaret