I want to start this post off by explaining something. My blog posts often discuss the hard bits of my faith journey, the difficult parts of life that we tend to want to avoid but I have learned that having faith does not make things all happy-go-lucky all the time. I told my mentor the other night, that faith and a life with God is a bit like a rose–incredibly beautiful but sharpened with some thorns. I hope that my blogs don’t make it seem like I am living a life in despair, I am just living life, however, I choose to discuss the bits of life that are hard.
My blog is my heart, if you read it you are getting a glimpse into the inner workings of me. Those inner workings are not always happy-go-lucky, but that does not mean that they are not beautiful. To me, my blogs are rooted in the hope that God is present, working on my heart as I expose the things that I feel. I write in order to let God in; as I write, God reaches in and does some incredible healing on my heart. I write and share these writings in the hopes that if anyone feels alone or the same pain my heart is feeling, they know that they are not alone and that God is faithful–even if they cannot sense the presence of God.
I share the darker things, because I know I am not the only one who has struggled with walking in the dark. I do, however, try to keep the hope of God in the posts, please forgive me if it is not as clearly present to you as it is to me when I am writing. This period of life has been difficult, the last year and half has been one with many ups and downs, difficult times, but nevertheless, has been beautiful and joyous. I have struggled in the last six months to really sense God’s presence, I think it has been mainly due to not really looking for God’s hand upon my life. But as I shared that last post about the fear and panic that is plaguing my heart, I felt just how near God is.
God is not saying too much in this season of life, but God is near, comforting me and tending to my heart and soul. God has filled my life to the brim with a village of people who are surrounding me (literally and figuratively) with love and protection. This season of life has introduced me to the true importance and joy of having your people, the ones who know when something is wrong and show up when things start to crumble. I am learning of the true importance of community and what church actually means.
I am letting myself feel God’s presence. I am letting God in bit by bit. I can feel God gently nudging my heart open. For once in my life, God is being very gentle with me and my heart, I think God knows right now I need gentle. I am overwhelmed by God’s loving patience. I am thankful for God’s loving patience but also the loving patience my loved ones are extending to me.
Today I am just working on letting myself be, letting my heart feel God’s nearness and letting God in a little bit more today. I am resting in the true joy that comes from the loving presence of our faithful God. I hope that in whatever part of your journey you find yourself to be in, that you let yourself be, you let yourself see God’s hand upon your life and open up your heart just a little bit more.
May the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.
Peace, Joy, Blessings and All My Love,